New Dresses Up!

Tell your friends please! And please follow me here: http://katekingvintage.blogspot.com/

Matt and I had a ton of fun shooting these. You can check out his stuff and our photoshoot at www.fosteraddingtonblog.com

spring

It is spring, it is spring, it is spring.

This may be a bit early, as I always like to think that I am better before I really am, but I feel a spring within me. I look at the past few months, and I feel a sense of accomplishment and a great relief to be, hopefully, done. I can see all that has been painfully pruned from me, all the seeds faithfully planted, and something new arises. I see beauty in faces, as broken as they may be. Hope comes more easily, a sense that God is moving and I move with him. Christ has done a good work in me.

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. so don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in anyway. James 1.

James in the Message is. so. good. check it.

vision

I am hurtling through space. The icy blackness whips through my hair always changing, darker, longer, blonder. One day is a second and I’m flickering and flailing and tumbling. People whiz with me and by me, all of us racing through time and life. We crash into each other, cut into one another, our trajectory changes and friends glimmer away and toward me. Christ pulls me behind him with chords of silk easily broken for a boy who kisses me and strikes me and disappears and reappears for thousands of shuddering days. Friends orbit around me until they explode against someone else and are shot into other directions or maybe I push them and for many seconds I am alone. I run into someone, and another and another and they fly by with words of love and knives and my blood splatters. I have a knife in my hand too and words I want to scream but I am lost and changing and I just want to stop flying and falling and hurting. I flicker rapidly getting smaller and darker and less familiar and friends try to hold on but the wind spins them toward other Futures. The flesh of the past accumulates under my fingernails and my hands are raw raw from grabbing and holding and breaking. I just want to stop. I want to stop. I want to stop. I crash into a star and we hold each other like parachute jumpers but it lets go and grabs me back and lets go and there's something wrong inside of me. Someone crash into me please, and don’t let go. No, not someone, just one. I am speeding towards you, love. I am hurtling with you, Christ. Catch me, catch me, catch me, please.

Start this morning off right- kinda

Everything about this song is wonderful. The video is pretty terrible. I mean, really terrible.

I am not a robot.

No, for really real, I'm not.

A few weeks ago my counselor told me that I was like the robot from Terminator 3, except for Jesus. I thought that was a compliment. It was not. He keeps telling me to have grace and compassion on myself. To stop beating myself up for my emotions. And it sounds like straight therapy bullshit. I see so many people walking through life completely unaware of how they hurt others or why they do the things that they do. I don't want that to be me, and so when I mess up, I want to own it and make sure I never do it again.

I hate my emotions, they are irrational and lead me to death. Nothing is worse than making emotional decisions. I only end up hurting other people and that is inexcusable. I should be perfect as Christ is perfect.

I want to ruthlessly eradicate all weakness, I want to never hurt other people, I want to learn from my mistakes, I want to never make them.

Hence the robot comment.

So that means punishment. I have to punish myself so I fully learn my lesson. I mean, it makes logical sense, that is how the world works- but it's not how God works. The punishment has been taken.

I made some, perhaps, poor decisions lately. And as a result, in the past few days I have been struggling badly with these punishment issues. Today I was so anxious, so sick, that I almost passed out in starbucks. It was crazy. I was trying to read and pray, but I was so angry with myself. My stomach felt so tight and I was afraid I was going to throw up. My heart was heavy, so heavy. My mind was spinning with accusations. I slumped down in my seat and my pen felt like a great weight and my hand so weak, that I had to drop it.

I looked down and saw the verse about the spirit inteceding for us with groans and I thought "Oh God, please help me."

And then I heard words and voices. But the good kinds.

Dickie: The past is the past. What good is it to dwell on it? I mean, really. Move on, don't do it again. The end.

My counselor: You have compassion on everyone but you.

Keirsten: Namaste.

Jahred: It's okay to feel. Emotions are what make you real.

Jenna: You're killing yourself. This is not what Christ wants.

And so I took a deep breath and picked up my pen and wrote: I am not a robot. I am a woman. I have a heart, I have emotions, I am not perfect. Even if I broke one law, the spirit of Christ is alive in me always. I know I am pursuing God first, I want him to have free reign in my life. But that doesn't mean I will be perfect. It's okay. It's okay. I am loved. It's okay.

All of my sickness felt like it was pulled out of my stomach and out through my heart. I mean, it just evaporated. Gone.

It was incredible!

I have been getting these ...whatever, panic attacks, or deep self loathing sessions for six months, the past two months they have been so overwhelming and frequent I have not been able to eat very much or sleep. Being refreshed through prayer and the word has been what has kept me afloat. Every morning my time with God fixes my perspective, things that seem dark and ominous are restored through Jesus. Christ keeps me from a daily depression, but not from these attacks. When these thoughts come upon me, I can only wait to fall asleep, and hope it is gone in the morning. I cannot pray, or call someone or even pick up the phone. I have never been able to pray or talk myself out of them. I just talk myself deeper in. Until today.

I don't even know if I can express my joy right now! I AM NOT A ROBOT. I AM LOVED EVEN WITH MY IMPERFECTIONS.

HOLY SHIT!

I am glowing. I am so glowing right now. God's love is not dependent on my actions, and I have not ruined my life. If anything, maybe that was supposed to happen, just so this could happen. And even if not, redemption is a gift.

And then I read in Romans and Corinthians and it is all just so good! Romans 12 talked about how when we fix our attention on God we are changed from the inside out, that we come to a deeper maturation. I know that God is working something Good in me, and I am so grateful that I was able to get a glimpse of it today. I know that I'm not completely over this time, but I finally see a light. I see a little bit of my Hope.

My quiet time today was better than an orgasm.

I could only write VICTORY in my journal over and over again. And when I told the story to Jahred, he smiled and said: Victory.

I am glowing. And I like you all very much.

I am happy.

When Paul received his sight, he received spiritually an insight into the Person of Jesus Christ, and the whole of his subsequent life and preaching was nothing but Jesus Christ - "I determined not to know anything among you, save Jesus Christ, and Him crucified." No attraction was ever allowed to hold the mind and soul of Paul save the face of Jesus Christ.

We have to learn to maintain an unimpaired state of character up to the last notch revealed in the vision of Jesus Christ.

The abiding characteristic of a spiritual man is the interpretation of the Lord Jesus Christ to himself, and the interpretation to others of the purposes of God. The one concentrated passion of the life is Jesus Christ. Whenever you meet this note in a man, you feel he is a man after God's own heart.

Never allow anything to deflect you from insight into Jesus Christ. It is the test of whether you are spiritual or not. To be unspiritual means that other things have a growing fascination for you.

"Since mine eyes have looked on Jesus,
I've lost sight of all beside,
So enchained my spirit's vision,
Gazing on the Crucified."

-Oswald Chambers


If I was not a Christian I think I could have been perfectly content being a cop at 18. I would have kicked in doors and locked up 'bad guys' and let hot guys off of speeding tickets, and went home with a satisfied, simple heart. I'm sure days would have been hard, I'm sure I would have gotten jaded, but I also think I would have thought I was making the world a little better.

If I was not a Christian I could have been completely satisfied being a criminal profiler at 20. Hiding myself away in cases and minds- in theories and other peoples stories. Every case I helped solve would strengthen my resolve for the next.

If I was not a Christian, I could have been completely satisfied being a counselor at 21. I could have helped people believe in their own worth, walked them through lies and abuse. I would have been content to see people come alive, and to find myself in that.

If I was not a Christian I could have been perfectly content writing movies at 23. I would have written movies with social justice themes and gone to bed thinking I was doing a good thing.

If I was not a Christian, I would now be perfectly content sewing dresses. I could lose myself in fashion and colors, in seeing something come alive in my hands, and being loved by another person.


But I am a Christian. And so, nothing else satisfies but Christ. And honestly, that kind of sucks.

I cannot be happy without him. His Spirit is heavy in me, in us all, no matter how much we feed our Minds and Hearts over him. Living in/with/through Christ is the only thing that gives my life hope or meaning.

I am the most discontent when I let a person, a job or idea define my life. As hard as I try, I cannot find satisfaction in those things, the spirit will not allow me.

I have to be honest. There are times I wish I did not have the Spirit, and there are times I wish some of my friends didn't. I want to be happy, I want the people I love to be happy. And I know, that I know, that I know we never will be if we have one foot in Christ and one foot in the world.

So let me caveat this by saying that I am by no means a spiritual guru. I have chosen to pursue Christ with both feet because I'm afraid that I will go crazy if I don't. Honestly, I'm not strong enough to do it on my own.

My friends with the spirit: I have it stuck in my head that you will only be content when you are praying and reading and loving and seeing the world through Christs eyes. That is why I bug you with this cheesy christian shit. Cheesy Christian shit like this: You were made for more than a job or a lover or an ideal. You were made to be the fragrance of Christ.

So: "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Read Colossians or Phillipians (and as though I need to say it- read it in the message, you can feel things in that text, instead of just reading them) remember your favorite story of God, remember the last time you felt his presence, remember Christ in the garden, try to see people as Christ sees them, and remember how much he loves you, wants to be with you. Put both feet in.

So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.

Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.

And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That's a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. IIt wasn't long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it's all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk.

Don't lie to one another. You're done with that old life. It's like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you've stripped off and put in the fire. Now you're dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ.

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

Col. 3:1

Kate King Vintage BITCHES!

So I quit Westgate last week. That job was so great for me in past years; bought a house; traveled the world; got to be generous and buy dumb stuff. But after working with Renee and doing something that grew me creatively and spiritually, I couldn't handle going back to an office.

So eff that office.

A few different things started coming together, and the more time I spent with God, the more I felt this gentle leading towards focusing on the things that I love: writing and creating things and spending time with people. This was SUCH a big deal. Money has ruled my life for the past few years, and I finally accepted the gift of poverty last week.

My house will mostly likely not be mine in a few months. I will be throwing one AMAZING good bye party. I love that house. But I can be a slave to it no longer

So. Quit that job. Worked on these dresses.








www.kateking.etsy.com

Thank you, Abba.